Riding The Wave In Recovery: Things Do Get Better

For a while I was convinced that happiness was an illusion. I was so stuck in my eating disorder and my depression that I worried I would never feel happy. I thought it would never get better and I would be trapped in that darkness forever. Luckily I was wrong and things actually do get better, it just takes a shitload of time.

Recovering from an eating disorder and depression takes a lot of patience and faith that whatever’s on the other side is better than what you’re feeling now. My therapist told me something the other day that stuck with me. She said “it’s going to get worse before it gets better.” That is so true. Your ED hurts like hell and in the beginning recovery does too. I’m sorry if it’s not what you want to hear but it’s the truth. But eventually things will start to get better and you won’t even notice it. It’s a little laugh here or a smile there and in the moment it doesn’t feel like much but it all builds up and eventually it won’t hurt as much.

Last week I was emailing my dietitian in a panic because I was convinced I would gain weight if I followed my meal plan. That was a rough day. Today is a lot better. As I’m writing this I’m sitting across from my best friend eating my favorite pumpkin spice pancakes and a veggie omelette in a cafe. Last night we sat in my living room drinking wine and eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and I have absolutely zero guilt. I never thought it would happen but I feel so freaking happy and content with my life right now. It’s absolutely amazing and it’s moments like this that make recovery worth it for me. A year ago I wouldn’t even walk into a restaurant or dream of eating ice cream.


I feel like this post is all over the place (probably because I didn’t sleep last night) but I guess what I’m trying to say is that it does get better if you just try to hang on and ride the recovery wave. It might take forever but slowly you’ll get there and when you do it feels amazing. Stay strong everyone. I believe in you and I’m always just a message or a comment away.

Much love, Danni <3