Pineapples and Prozac

I feel like supplements can be a controversial thing in ED recovery. There seems to be this sort of stigma that you need to be gaining in order to drink things like boost and ensure.  I remember when I first entered treatment I was struggling with my meal plan so my dietitian put me on boost plus for one of my snacks because it was an easier way to get calories in. I also had to supplement with normal boost if I didn’t finish 75% of my meals. I had friends in recovery and other family members questioning why I needed to drink them if I didn’t need to gain weight.  Y’all they’re supplements. Yes they can be added as part of a weight gain plan however I wasn’t having them in addition to my meal plan, they were simply a part of my meal plan that was already in place. If drinking a 220 cal boost is easier on my head and stomach than a giant bowl of oatmeal my first week in recovery I’m probably going to chose the boost. Heck I’ve been in recovery for almost a year and a half and ...

So this weekend I went to a convention and I did a lot of thinking and meditating. I realized that I don’t know who I am without my labels. I’m a vegetarian, I’m a recovering anorexic, I’m a daughter. But when I remove all that I don’t know what makes me Danni. I spend most of my time either working or reading/ watching videos about veganism or recovery. I don’t remember the last time I picked up a book for pleasure. Hell I don’t even know what I actually like anymore. I used to like hiking but I don’t have the energy for that anymore, I can’t concentrate on a book to save my life, the only thing I watch on netflix is “Criminal Minds” and I don’t even focus on that anymore. I want to do more and find new interests but I’m scared. I’ve also been struggling a lot recently. Recovery is hard as heck and I’ve found myself falling back into old restrictive habits. I’ve been counting calories and macros trying to make sure i stay under my “safe number.” I’ve become much more focused o...