Greetings Fellow Humans
Hi. I've never been much of a writer (besides journaling) but the past few months I've thought about starting a blog so I guess I'm finally going to try.
I should probably start with a little bit about me. I'm Danni, I'm 21 and I'm a recovering anorexic, well atypical anorexic. You see, while I was trapped in my eating disorder and starved myself for over 3 years I'm still pretty fat. "How is that possible" you might ask, well you see kids what happened was that young Danni was raised by a father who was a compulsive eater and a mother who wanted to make sure that her child never went hungry like she did. That situation along with some shit genetics and my own poor choices lead to a girl who weighed over 300lbs by her senior year of high school.
However that all changed when I started college. when I started college I was the shy awkward fat kid who had trouble making friends. For the first time in my life I was basically on my own and that scared me and I felt like I was losing control of my life. I was tired of being fat so I decided I would go vegan and start restricting my calories. Well that was all fine and dandy for the first couple of months but eventually I got sucked into the black hole that is my eating dsorder and I'm just now starting to find my way out. In a matter of 3 months I lost nearly 100lbs and I ended up developing an exercise addiction. At that time I was stuck in a cycle of restirct, binge, purge, workout, repeat. That continued for another year and a half until I met a new therapist. With the help of him and my mum I tried recovering for a few months. I went from eating 300 calories a day to eating nearly 1200 and that scared me but I was tired of being tired and hurting my family. My therapist and I would talk about mindfulness a lot so when I saw that my university's mental health services had a mindfulness group I tried to join. Thats how I ended up in treatment.
In order to join the group I had to have a psych assessment. Well I told them about what was happening for the last 3 years and they thought I might need help so I was sent to an eating disorder specialist for another assessment. That assessment ended with my school telling me that I needed more help than they could give me and that they thought I needed to go to treatment. Luckily there are 3 treatment options in my city so half way through my Junior year I started at a partial hospitalization program for nearly 3 months. That was a year ago.
In the past year I've been in that program 2 more times, I've switched therapist twice, and I ended up in an inpatient facility for a week. Recovery has its ups and downs but I'm honestly so grateful for this past year. I've made so many friends in treatment and I'm finally at a point where I can follow my meal plan (for the most part) and not worry about my body as much. Yes this process has been hard as hell and I wanted to give up so many times but I'm proud of myself for fighting through.
I'll probably make another post about whats happened this last year but I figured this would give y'all a bit of a background on my life. I'm hoping I can connect with others on their own recovery journey and maybe even inspire others to give it a shot.
I should probably start with a little bit about me. I'm Danni, I'm 21 and I'm a recovering anorexic, well atypical anorexic. You see, while I was trapped in my eating disorder and starved myself for over 3 years I'm still pretty fat. "How is that possible" you might ask, well you see kids what happened was that young Danni was raised by a father who was a compulsive eater and a mother who wanted to make sure that her child never went hungry like she did. That situation along with some shit genetics and my own poor choices lead to a girl who weighed over 300lbs by her senior year of high school.
However that all changed when I started college. when I started college I was the shy awkward fat kid who had trouble making friends. For the first time in my life I was basically on my own and that scared me and I felt like I was losing control of my life. I was tired of being fat so I decided I would go vegan and start restricting my calories. Well that was all fine and dandy for the first couple of months but eventually I got sucked into the black hole that is my eating dsorder and I'm just now starting to find my way out. In a matter of 3 months I lost nearly 100lbs and I ended up developing an exercise addiction. At that time I was stuck in a cycle of restirct, binge, purge, workout, repeat. That continued for another year and a half until I met a new therapist. With the help of him and my mum I tried recovering for a few months. I went from eating 300 calories a day to eating nearly 1200 and that scared me but I was tired of being tired and hurting my family. My therapist and I would talk about mindfulness a lot so when I saw that my university's mental health services had a mindfulness group I tried to join. Thats how I ended up in treatment.
In order to join the group I had to have a psych assessment. Well I told them about what was happening for the last 3 years and they thought I might need help so I was sent to an eating disorder specialist for another assessment. That assessment ended with my school telling me that I needed more help than they could give me and that they thought I needed to go to treatment. Luckily there are 3 treatment options in my city so half way through my Junior year I started at a partial hospitalization program for nearly 3 months. That was a year ago.
In the past year I've been in that program 2 more times, I've switched therapist twice, and I ended up in an inpatient facility for a week. Recovery has its ups and downs but I'm honestly so grateful for this past year. I've made so many friends in treatment and I'm finally at a point where I can follow my meal plan (for the most part) and not worry about my body as much. Yes this process has been hard as hell and I wanted to give up so many times but I'm proud of myself for fighting through.
I'll probably make another post about whats happened this last year but I figured this would give y'all a bit of a background on my life. I'm hoping I can connect with others on their own recovery journey and maybe even inspire others to give it a shot.
Comments
Post a Comment